Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
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The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
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My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize