Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
