please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When are your genitals available?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
