i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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