It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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