I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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