Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just found puke in my bra..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
