Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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