It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
