Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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