**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize