If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We need to get me chipped asap
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
