i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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