I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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