And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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