So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I wear drunk well.
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