Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
