All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
