He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
foreskin is a definite game changer
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
