now i know why i became what i already was.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
