4 words: hood of his car
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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