oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I smell stomach acid.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?