Kareoke will never be a sober sport
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
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If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek