There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just gargled with NyQuil
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.