i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision