this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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