If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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