He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
