the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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