Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I could make wine with my vomit
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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