He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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