How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
