I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
