He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
