id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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