vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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