JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
