Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it's like iHOP with fire
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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