You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
