And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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