hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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