We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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