Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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