your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
