what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
