there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
