he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
