where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
