and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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