she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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