I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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