When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
