He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
