Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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