I don't remember. Are we still dating?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
