I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
