This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
