Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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