I can't breathe out the right side of my face
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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