thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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