I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
