Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
