i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
