I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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