He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
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It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
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Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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