Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
