i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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