i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.