when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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